We bring our children to malls, not churches to sit on an old white man’s lap & ask him to grant our wishes. If you reflect on that thought alone & don’t think that’s not creepy I don’t know what to tell you.
Many of you will say but it’s to feed the children’s imagination. There so many other things you can do to nourish your child’s imagination without lying to them about a fake fat man who magically appears and gives your children presents.
I remember the first time Santa was introduced to me. Everyone told me I could ask Santa for whatever I wanted and he would give it to me. Of course being an adopted child I asked for the one and only gift I still desire. That was to see my biological mother. I will never forget it I was in the orphanage , in Guatemala city. The first time I learned about a whole new society. Going to school, wearing a uniform, learning to eat with a spoon & learning about Santa. I couldn’t speak Spanish , because I was Mayan Indian in the orphanage . Not to mention I didn’t talk much anyway. I remember being forced to sit on a man’s lap with a beard and I had drew a picture of my mother & asked for it on Christmas. Needless to say Christmas came at the orphanage. I would stay up late & sneak out of my room & I watched a truck pull up , pretty sure donations were delivered & were all wrapped & put under a tree. In the morning all the orphans ran to open our gifts and I sat there pissed off and feeling lied to.
Anyway I get adopted & boom I’m in America I come in August & 4 months later my first year in America , Christmas comes again. I will never forget we are all being told to draw and old white man & write letters to Santa. My teacher Mrs. Conolly asked me ” Silvia, why are you not doing your work?” I said out loud” there is no such thing as Santa , Santa ain’t ever come to Guatemala.” lol I know my adopted parents regret sometimes how fast I learned to speak English but most of all they had no idea the type of person I would become with the weapon of truth & communication.
Mrs. Conolly said ” Silvia, we need to talk out in the hall” we went to the hall & she said “I know you know, but these kids don’t know & you will hurt their feelings if you tell them the truth.” I was very confused because my adopted parents told me to never lie & to always tell the truth. At this moment I realized my truth I would speak would always get me in trouble.
My parents always told me to never tell my sister there was no Santa & I could never understand why they continued to tell the lies?
My adopted mother is so over the top with Christmas because she has her own PTSD from growing up as a Jehovah Witness. She over does the Christmas decorations & Christmas gifts. Growing up our house looked like a shrine on Christmas. Every corner of the house has some Christmas bullshit in it. Lol its kind of comical.
When I think back after coming from a 3rd world country of course I enjoyed the gifts. I remember the joy it gave my adopted mother telling me about Santa & leaving milk & cookies out for Santa to say thank you for the gifts. So of course I pretended & went along, but for her own joy. Christmas never meant anything to me.
I once again like I did in the orphanage would sneak out of my bed & watch my poor adopted mother slave all night wrapping Christmas presents for my adopted sister & I thinking that’s what she had to do to show us she loved us, but most of all to fulfill her own PTSD issues she had as a child never celebrating Christmas.
Years later I would become a mother in America. A young , single mother on welfare. Granted I had my adopted parents & family who never let my daughter feel like we were two people living in the projects.
Out of respect for my adopted parents I went along with the lies about Santa for my daughters sake but I was never happy about it. Not to mention being a young mom living on welfare feeling pressured to have to buy my child gifts didn’t sit well with me.
When my daughter turned 8 I had to tell her truth because I needed her to know that money doesn’t grow on trees & how hard I work to provide for her. To teach her the one thing my adopted parents or society , or school wasn’t educating her on. I told her Christmas was suppose to be about Jesus birth, the celebration of life.
There is nothing more irritating to me than feeling obligated to do anything for any one never buy buying them gifts. When you buy someone a gift it’s out of love, it’s the fact that you took the time to think about them.
I told Chanelle you don’t need gifts on Christmas to tell you or show you how much I love you. Gifts are not the same as love.
We are raising retail slaves who become addicted to the newest trend & are feeding the beast of instant gratification. They always want the next new toy or new Jordan’s, new this or that it’s all just too much & they will become adults who will never be satisfied.
Dear single mothers,
Especially you never ever feel that you are less than a mother if you can’t keep up with the Jones & you can’t get your child or children the last & designer. So the fuck what! You bust your ass & shouldn’t feel obligated because of society , the media campaigns & all the spoiled kids your friends who know who get whatever they want.
I’ve been there & because I grew up with never owning a pair of shoes till I was 6 in the orphanage I over compensated. My daughter has more shoes than most people will own in a life time & so don’t I. It’s partly embarrassing & I to have fallen a victim to the Christmas present bullshit. Just don’t do it to yourself & have an honest convo with your children.
Tell the truth about Christmas, the purpose & let them know the value of money.
I actually started to take my daughter Christmas Shopping with me & would make her read the prices & ask her “do you really need it or want it?”She would say “I don’t need it mom, I want it.” I most likely got it for her, but I needed to teach her the lessons on how hard I work & there is no magic on receiving . You have to work hard in order to receive & give.
Again nothing I say is law, but maybe if we all started to tell our children the truth about Christmas , we would have less debt come January & less depression during Christmas. Like as though if you didn’t get a gift you are not loved. What are we really perpetuating in society & what are we really teaching our children? These Qs are for you to answer & how you raise your child is your business, but just know we all have to live in this world together.
Less giving gifts, & more lessons, counting our blessings, teaching our children about integrity, principle, love, happiness, good health, speaking the truth, teaching them love isn’t about presents its about family & friends.
Whatever religion you practice have a blessed holiday season & remember single mothers especially you don’t do it to yourselves. Do only what you can & if you can’t buy anything you still have your love! Everyone always loves mamas cooking.
I feel so liberated, for the first time now that my daughter is in college, I’m going to spend My Christmas in Florida, & for the New Year I’m headed to Dominican Republic. I no longer need to pretend & go to my adopted family house & act like I give a shit about Christmas.
Get all dressed up, have small talk with people that is so called family & be like so what have you been up to? How is life? Lol like you would actually know if you called me or text me & didn’t wait only on Thanksgiving & Christmas to ask. What bullshit it all is, & we all do it. Then do it all again next year .
This Christmas do you, do what makes you happy & never feel obligated to buy someone anything to show how much you love anyone including your own children.
Just be a good human, be kind to strangers & just spread love, real love not obligated fake love.
Xox Love VIA™